A Two-Month Break

I arranged to stay with someone for two months.  I won't be more specific than that, as Husband does not know where I was staying.  I am very thankful for the rest and support I received from the people I was staying with. 

When I moved out, I told Husband I was staying away for two months, and giving myself time to figure out what to do next.  Husband very quickly had a breakdown.  He acted out again, and then he became suicidal and ended up in the hospital. It was a mess of emotions.  He felt shamed and guilty, and did not know how to handle those feelings.  I had a lot of support from friends and family.  When I moved out, I told almost everyone in my life, with the exception of a few people at work. Husband had very little support because he had not told anyone except his therapist.  He did reach out to a few friends, and his brother. 

We saw each other once or twice a week for most of this time.  It was hard.  Husband was really pressuring me for sex.  That was the last thing on my mind.  The weirdest part was that, for him, sadness seemed to lead directly to sex. He'd switch back and forth between crying on my shoulder and trying to make out with me. It felt creepy.

One thing I wish is that our relationship had support during this time. According to Husband, right after I moved out, Brian Zamboni offered to see both of us.  I have no idea why either of them thought that would be a good idea... I didn't trust either of them.  How would being in a room with them both at the same time possibly help?  A few weeks after I moved out, we had our first appointment with Eli Coleman.  I was torn after the first couple of sessions.  He was smart and perceptive, but he was also arrogant.  We ended up seeing him about 5 times total, and the arrogance just got to be too much.  However, he was useful at first because he helped me set boundaries.  Unfortunately, some of the boundaries we needed to set were with him--no reading during sessions, treat us like equals, not putting us in the middle of squabbles with his staff, etc.