One of my COSA friends mentioned that she felt like she has had to re-learn adult relationships when she got into a relationship with a non-addict. I started to reflect on that. For so long, I considered myself to be doing well as long as I was more of an adult than Husband. When he was being really immature, I decided that I only needed to be less immature. Now, I am realizing how hard it is to be the kind of person I want to be, no matter what is going on with him.
That is the real challenge of recovery for me. When he goes downhill, how do I be who I really want to be? Right now would be an example. How do I respond to him in a way that is healthy for me? He is telling me that we cannot discuss any aspects of how he is accountable in our relationship, or what responsibility he has.
OK. So, that's ridiculous. But, I don't want to be ridiculous in response. I am trying really hard to find ways to be myself and not get drawn into his drama, and still be involved in the relationship (for now).
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